Fragile Desires
by oxidreamofedwardxo
Summary: A delicate love between Alec and Magnus teeters on the edge. Will their relationship survive? Oneshot fluff A&M sweet no lemon. Rated T for teen.


**Characters belong to the amazing Cassandra Clare. I worship her and her novels and do not wish to infringe upon any copyright... stuff.**

_Anyway, enjoy! There aren't nearly enough MI fanfics, so I thought I'd try to help out a little. Read & Review pretty please._

The blue-haired warlock and his handsome companion sat side-by-side, not touching, staring in opposite directions. Magnus felt the awkwardness of the silence as he watched Alec daydream about another man. When the roaring quiet became too much he decided to break it. "Alec. What do you like about me?"

Alec's thick, dark eyebrows furrowed, bringing heartbreaking wrinkles to the smooth olive skin of his forehead. Magnus instantly regretted interrupting his reverie. The boy was in so much _pain_. Still, he needed to know why they were even doing this. He would do anything to help.

"Geez, Magnus. You – I – I don't know, you caught me off guard. What – what do you even want me to say to that?" Normally Magnus would considerate it cute to see Alec fumbling for words, all baffled and bothered. But this was serious. Their so-called relationship was dangling from a piece of neon pink, sparkly dental floss.

"It's a simple question, Alec" he taunted, "I want to know why you come here and spend time hanging out with me instead of following Jace around like a lapdog." Alec could see the anger in the warlock's tense muscles and demanding glare, but underneath it all he saw that Magnus was beginning to fall apart. His black eyeliner was smudged, his top missing several sequins, and even a few of the glossy blue spikes on his head were beginning to droop. Alec knew it was his fault. He was draining Magnus of his patience, but he wasn't sorry. He couldn't help it.

"Magnus, I..." He faded off, trying to find the right words for this mournful yearning.

"- What is it Alec? You like me because I can do magic? Am I fulfilling your Harry Potter fantasy? You like older men? Oh I know, you're using me for sex!" Magnus slapped his forehead and laughed bitterly at the joke. He had never gotten away with any more than just a quick peck on the cheek. Alec had been so shy, so reserved from the very beginning...

"Could you shut up for a minute and just let me talk?!" Alec turned to face Magnus, resting his head against the foot of the bed for support. The warlock's eyes were pleading and contrite. He wasn't looking to start a fight. He just wanted to make things better, to make things right between the two of them. But now it seemed things would never be right. Perhaps they weren't meant to be together. Perhaps they were both meant to be lonely and miserable forever.

"Magnus, I like you because you are amazing and talented and handsome and and" Alec lost his train of thought completely because at the mention of the word handsome Magnus had smiled and begun leaning in, surrounding Alec with his sparkling glory and sweet-smelling breath. Alec snapped out of the trance just in time to dodge the full-frontal attack and turn it into yet another unsatisfying peck on the cheek. Magnus swore under his breath, cupping the nephilim's shoulders tightly in his hands, determined to make his boyfriend face him. Kiss him.

Alec leaned back and removed Magnus's hands from his muscular shoulders, holding them in his own sweaty palms. "Wait, there's more. And you need to hear it." Magnus sighed impatiently. He looked into Alec's eyes and saw that they were welling with emotion, shining with determination.

"My feelings for Jace..." he began quietly, watching Magnus flinch visibly at the name, "are an unhealthy, childish infatuation that I've held onto long enough. And part of the reason I like being around you so much is the more time I spend with you, the more those painful feelings start to go away."

Magnus let go of his hands, hurt. "Oh, I get it. I'm a painkiller, a distraction. Just someone to kill the time until you can get over Jace."

"No, no, no, no!" Alec waved his hands frantically as if trying to swat Magnus's incorrect idea out of the room. "It's not like that. The way I feel," he paused, "the way I felt about Jace made me hate myself. I gave myself more pity than I deserved. I relished in my misery. I was pathetic." At this point they were both tearing up. Alec grabbed Magnus firmly by the back of his slender but strong arms. "But you," he said. "I watch you, all sparkly and pretty. It amazes me how confident you are, and how at peace with the world, with life, with yourself. It makes me want to tell everyone, hey look, I'm gay too. I'm gay, and I'm in love."

Alec chuckled as the tears he'd been fighting back finally escaped. Slowly, gently, Magnus reached up with his soft fingertips and brushed them aside. "Can I kiss you now?" he asked.

"Not if I kiss you first," teased Alec. And with one graceful movement he pulled the blue-haired warlock onto his lap and their lips connected with fervor. It was Alec's first kiss and it was all soft, warm lips, and loving caresses. Perfect, exactly how he had imagined it. Closing his eyes, he pulled Magnus closer and deepened the kiss, never wanting to let go.


End file.
